When the night meets the morning sun

So here I am starting my own "blog." I was reading my sister's blog and decided it would be both healthy and amusing for me to make one myself. People don't realize how theraputic writing is. Whenever I am sad, angry or jealous it really helps me to be able to sit down and write about what I am feeling. I mean I like to talk to people about my feelings sometimes, but it seems like when I am writing I make more sense than when I am talking. I bet other people feel that way too. My parents are always telling me that I express myself well but I sure don't feel like I do. I feel like a bumbling idiot whenever I try to explain how I feel to someone. But I guess it turns out okay in the end if my parents can understand me even through all my tears.

People keep saying to me what a rough year this has been for my family. And yeah, I guess it has. But I've tried not to focus on that because if I do it just makes me start to feel sorry for myself. Besides, some good things have happened this year too. The first thing I thought of was that I finally figured out what I want to be when I "grow-up." I want to be a fashion designer. I think that will be a really good career for me, but ometimes I feel a little embarrassed to tell people that because I am afraid of what they will think. I think they might be saying to themselves "She doesn't have good enough style to be a fashion designer!" "That's a far-fetched ambition, how does she think she'll actually be good enough to make money?" Maybe people aren't thinking those things but I am afraid that they are. And just because I am not always wearing the absolutely cutest most stylish things doesn't mean I don't have good style. The absolutely cutest most stylish things usually don't look good on me and by not wearing them shows that I have good taste. Fat people who know not to wear skinny people clothes are smart. And believe me, everyone should be grateful to them. No one is clamoring to see a fat girl in a mini-skirt.

But anyway. When my ambitions of being a fashion designer are realized I am going to open the most beautiful dress shop. I am going to sell all kinds of dresses... from bridal to sundresses. All women will (well at least they SHOULD) love my store. My clothes will be feminine and powerful at the same time. I have every intention of being a great success. And I really hope that I am!

Speaking of fashion design, tomorrow I am going with my father to Marist College, the school that I applied to. They are in Poughkeepsie, New York. From the pictures on the brochures and webpage is looks really pretty. If you (whoever is reading this) want to look at the page it is www.marist.edu. Make sure you look at the fashion design program!! I am kind of excited to visit. I really hope that it is as nice in real life. I like the word "Poughkeepsie." It sounds cheerful to me. Is that silly? Maybe it is but I don't care. I am gonna be a cheerful girl in a cheerful town when and if I get accepted to Marist. YAY.

Well, enough of a blog for one night. It's getting late and my eyes are starting to behave badly. Goodnight.