The Fog Rolls In

Well if only I didnt feel nauseous maybe the world would seem a little brighter. But then again, probably not. Sometimes I just feel like I am living in a fog that I can't break free from. It's this incredibly thick fog that keeps me from seeing things the way other people see them, in that happy or at least "I can handle this" way. When the fog rolls in all I want to do is cry but I don't even know why is it that I am crying. I just know that it makes me a feel a little bit calmer. The thing I hate the most about being like this is that I can't pretend to be happy like I usually can even if I am in a crap mood. So people obviously ask me," hey are you okay", and then I am like "no" and all my stupid dark emotions well up to the surface. So it's pretty much inevitable that I will get teary.

Crying sucks because then everyone can see all the things that you are fighting so hard to keep on the inside. I am usually a pretty good fighter, and people usually see me as a generally cheery person, but sometimes, I have to give up the fight because I need the fighting energy for something else, like you know, getting up in the morning and staying alive. I just wish that living didn't take so much energy, because it seems to leave me without enough energy to get much of anything else done the way it should be.