War/Peace

Safety--- to some people that word is tedious, mundane, unattractive. To me, it is my life. I can't think of one thing in my entire life that I have ever done that could be considered a risk. Childhood: behaved in school, obeyed my parents, went to church. Adolescence: made honor roll in school, followed my parents rules, went to church. Adulthood: made dean's list, respected my parents, didn't break any laws, occasionally went to church. A picture of dependability. I think the most risky thing I've ever done is turn off my lights for a second while driving at night. (on a straight road of course) It's kind of exhilarating.

I am not a fighter in life. I don't challenge things and don't like it when I am challenged. I don't take risks because I don't know what's coming next and I can't prepare myself for how to react to it. I think that is why my life has been so safe, so "neat." When my parents set a rule, I followed it. On the rare occasion that I would feel resentment about obeying, it would still never occur to me to do something other than what I was expected. Not to say that I don't do things that are wrong, just that I am a not rebellious person. Some people see a boulder in their path and they set out to destroy it or move it. I see the boulder and either accept that I'm not going anywhere for awhile or that I have to find a way around it. I am not a warrior, I am a peacemaker.

Some people may see my attitude as passive-aggressive or lazy, and at times, that can definitely be true. But I think that it can be positive because sometimes there are things you just can't change and no amount of fighting will make a difference. I think finding a way to accept life for what it is makes it a whole lot easier to bear. People are always trying to fight for more, for something better. Ambition is a great part of life, but there should be a balance between that and reality. Too many people get so stuck in the constant struggle for success that they can't enjoy the journey. Happiness doesn't have to be a destination at the end of the journey; if you look for it, you can find it at stops all along the way.